Today, I had an appointment with my new neurologist for an EMG. A very nice, over-achiever originally from Spain, my doctor is just beginning to learn who I am after this third appointment.
In his office, on the exam table, I was instructed to lie down and scootch over as close to the wall as possible. I did so, then the doctor picked up my left hand to start putting electrodes on it. It was at this point that I said, “You know that’s the wrong hand. Right?”
Still holding my arm, he paused. He glanced briefly over his shoulder at his notes, then said, “That’s what I thought. Turn around.” I turned around on the table, presented him with the correct arm (my right), and we continued.
After a few minutes, the doctor apparently decided to strike up a conversation.
CONVERSATION 1: “I thought you were divorced,” he said.
“I am,” I nodded. (Big conversation there. Huh?)
“But you are still wearing your wedding ring,” he protested.
“I thought we went through this last time.”
“Tell me again,” he responded. “I forgot what you said.”
I did not mince words. I simply said, “Legally divorced is Biblically married.”
“Oh, yes,” the doctor answered. “I remember now.”
I gave a curt nod in response, then remained silent. For me, this is not really a topic of conversation. It is just what I do in obedience to Jesus’ commands regarding divorce. Most people seem to disagree with me and a lot of them even used to try to dissuade me. But once a person understands my position, my opinion is that there is really not much to discuss about it unless they need my advice regarding their own situations. If a person needs my advice, they generally ask. Otherwise, I just keep my mouth shut.
Still, the doctor was not quite satisfied. He said, “It is not often, these days, to find someone who is so dedicated to their marriage.”
I just laughed, “These days.” I was thinking, “of course that is how it is in The End of Days,” but I did not say it. I just shrugged and became quiet again.
“So you talk to him a lot, then?” It was more a statement than a question.
“No,” I answered.
The poor doctor. I think I was confusing him. ”Why not?” he asked.
“His mistress is too jealous. She would not like that.”
He nodded and was quiet only for a moment before another reasonable thought occurred to him and he asked, “But he talks to your son all the time?” Again, it was more of a statement than a question.
I corrected him about the ages and genders of my two children, because he was obviously thinking my boy was the one still at home. The boy is the 25 year-old living on his own and the younger girl still lives with me. Then I asked, “Do you mean, ‘does he talk to our daughter a lot’?”
The doctor nodded.
“No, he does not — and he does not talk to my son, either.”
“Why not?” was, again the doctor’s question.
“His mistress would not like that either. She is too jealous.”
“Even of the children??” was his surprised response. “That is just not right.”
My response, pointed and clear, was a single (hyphenated) word. I emphasized the movement of my lips as I said it: “HOME-WRECKER.”
This time, the doctor was the one who answered with body language. His lips turned briefly upside down as he bobbed his head up and down. “You have a good point there,” he admitted. Conversation over, but I don’t think the good doctor has quite figured me out yet. On the other hand, he did feel comfortable enough to loosen up during the exam just enough to actually laugh a little. That was nice.
CONVERSATION 2: Earlier today, I went to a different appointment with a neuro-muscular specialist who is trying to help me with an ongoing problem with tension in my right leg and arm. I have not talked to her since just after Christmas, so she was interested to know if my personal prodigal has communicated with either my daughter or me since she and I last talked. I told her that he is still resistant to all communications. She surmised that he probably feels too guilty to talk to us. As I would later do with the doctor, I just shrugged. I don’t know if he feels guilty or not and I don’t really care. His guilt or lack thereof does nobody any good.
“Has he remarried yet?” She prodded. I wanted to tell her that there is no such thing as remarriage while your covenant spouse is alive, but I did not bother. There was no point.
“Not to my knowledge,” I answered. “But I would not marry a woman who cheated on her husband, and destroyed her own kids’ lives by divorcing their father for her personal selfishness, if I were him, either. He would have to be nuts!”
The therapist agreed that he would have to be pretty stupid to marry a woman like that.
I added, “I think that on some level he realizes that, too.”
The therapist nodded and changed the topic. Conversation over.
Please note that neither one of these conversations today was solicited by me. BOTH conversations were initiated and perpetuated by the other party. I seem to have quite a few people both confused and intersted to see what will happen next. As the doctor, an extremely educated man, pointed out, “It is very rare, these days, to find someone so committed to their marriage.” Although I think it is more common than he realizes, I will say that it is extremely rare to find such an obviously blessed, intelligent, successful person as I am who is so committed to obedience to the Lord’s Laws in the face of abandonment and extreme personal hardship. But then, my obedience during times of great hardship is exactly why I continue to be so incredibly blessed. So why would I ever stop?